Mommy made a mistake today. A bad parenting choice. One that made you and mommy both very upset. And although we had a conversation about it and I explained why I was wrong, I don't think you fully understood. But what I hope that you do understand is that I am honest and open with you about my mistakes. I recognize them. I own them. I confess them. I ask forgiveness for them. Maybe not right away, but thankfully we serve an amazing, loving and forgiving God who is also very able to guide us in wisdom to our bad choices so that we can seek change. He doesn't let me go very long before He points out my bad choices. I am thankful for that.
I wish I could tell you that I will always be the perfect example to look to for life choices. But the truth is that some of my life choices will be more of an example of what not to do. I will not hide those choices from you and one day we will discuss the choices, both good and bad, in my past. I pray that it helps you discern good and bad choices in your future. The truth is that life is messy and we have the capacity for great light and for great darkness. With our words and our choices, we can lift someone up or tear them down. The power is in the choice you make and the ability to accept responsibility for where those choices lead you.
Teaching you to be independent and wise in this life is a difficult battle. One that I struggle with everyday. Today I messed up in that. Good intentions unfortunately do not always ensure a good outcome. Sometimes our good intentions do not come off so good to someone else. But we reflect, we own up, we apologize and we learn. Oh, how I hope you are always learning. Don't let your mistakes define you, but also don't let them go unnoticed. You will learn so much from your moments of weakness.
If I could teach you one important thing through my mistakes and your own, it would be that forgiving others and forgiving yourself will be an important and necessary part of your life. A life I hope is filled with that forgiveness and grace that comes from knowing Jesus - a forgiveness and grace that once you fully understand, you can't help but to bestow on others.
Today, I need your forgiveness. And as much as a 2-year old is able to give it, I hope you do.