Today was a little rough. With newborns, I feel like your whole life revolves around eating, sleeping and pooping, and if one of those goes wrong one day, things feel a little out of control. But with my new decision to focus on the things I am loving at this point, I decided to sit down and focus.
First of all, I made a list of things I'm loving right now...
I'm loving when Lux snuggles her face as close into my neck as it can get and then lets out this little sigh.
I'm loving when Isis asks to hold her sister and then tells me, "mom, she's really special."
I'm loving the me-time I get on good nap days!
I'm loving the fact that Lux sleeps really well at night. (We've had 2 different 5+ hour stretches this week!)
I'm loving the moments when Lew and I look at each other and just laugh or smile or shrug because we're sharing this experience and although we get tired and frustrated, we do it together.
Then, I spent some time looking for encouragement from others...
The last one led me to really think about where I'm at right now. Marc & Angel post tons of lists - which I love. I'm all about lists. Their list on that post began with this: The beginning is always the hardest. Man, isn't that the truth? In pretty much everything, I find that to be true. The beginning of the school year, the beginning of a new job, the beginning of the week, and definitely the beginning of a newborn's life. It's hard to introduce a child to the world - and you know what? It should be. Put that in the same category as where I stand on natural labor - that for me, I believe it shouldn't be easy or painless to bring a child into the world. It should be a sacrifice. It's true of the newborn stage as well. It isn't supposed to be easy to help a child learn about the world, because the world isn't easy. It's a challenge. Introducing a child to that world is something that I feel honored to have been allowed to participate in...twice.
Now partner Marc & Angel's first point with a couple of their others: Most good things don't come easy and The most important thing you can control is your mind. And I basically feel like God was like, "hey Cameron, read this post today because you need to change your perspective." Yes, God, I'm listening. I get it. I don't think that things are any less difficult and I don't love the newborn stage any more than I've already said, but I do think that the thing that gets me through it is changing my perspective. I mean, we all know I'm not going to be able to change a newborn. She's going to do what she's going to do. I can encourage certain things - and believe me, I try to - but it's me that needs to change in this to stay sane on the rough days. The rough days are going to come. But I would rather take the rough days with the good than to not have either.