Bottle Feeding Blog

This is a part of a series of guest posts for first time moms that I have put together from a variety of moms with a variety of perspectives. This one is written by Jessica Dallas of Sexy Mama Manifesto. Please stop by her blog to read more of her posts. You can also follow Sexy Mama Manifesto on Facebook and Twitter.

I'd had a successful pregnancy and delivered a healthy, six-pound 12-ounce son. It never occurred to me that I would be unable to breast-feed my child.

I am a social worker by trade and a breast-feeding advocate. I strongly believe in the concept of human milk for human babies and love to spout off fun facts to my clients. For instance, “Did you know that Michael Jordan was breast-fed until he was three years old?” “Did you know that the average baby who is breast-fed for one year scores six IQ points higher than the average bottle-fed baby?” However, the best laid plans…

Perhaps it was triggered by the fluid loss from an unexpected Cesarean birth or the hormone fluctuations that commenced as soon as the baby was born, but I started to cry convulsively and could not seem to stop. For some moms this sort of thing might be viewed as a good thing—a catharsis or kriya and necessary cleansing to make way for new life. For yours truly, this was not the case.

I’ve been trained to keep a close watch on my emotional health just as many individuals might monitor their blood sugar levels. I have acquired a degree of normalcy in my life through careful vigilance—mental-health support, regular yoga practice, a rigorous running schedule, prayer, meditation and my spiritual community. However, this approach had to be modified when I found out that I was pregnant.

I elected to discontinue my medication as well. I closely monitored my emotions and took my pregnancy one day at a time, as the saying goes. I told myself that, were things to become too extreme, I would be honest with my doctor and follow his recommendations as to whether to restart my medication.

The baby and I made it through nine months and three days unmedicated; then he was born. We had settled into our room that evening, only to find my “old pal” lurking in the shadows.

Statistics told me that I had three days after the child’s birth to return to my medication regimen in order to reduce my rate of relapse by 85%. Given that a relapse appeared to be underfoot, I elected to start my medication again and start my son on (gasp) formula. With some perspective, I can state that it proved far more beneficial for my son to have a sane bottle-feeding mama than a crazy, lactating one.

It is a difficult line to navigate, this business of taking care of one’s self, especially when a small life is concerned. For me, it truly came down to the principle of doing the least amount of harm and taking the same approach I would advise a dear friend to take.

Formula feeding does not have to be a horrid experience. It was my choice to take what had been given to me (unexpected events), accept them, and make the best possible decision.

Seventeen months and plenty of pediatrician visits later I can say that my son is in excellent physical health and benefited from the measures I took during and after pregnancy.

When faced with the abundance of literature advising you on how to attain perfect mommy status, give yourself a break, if you can… You will know, on a very fundamental level, what is best for your child, just as I did. And when in doubt, consult your pediatrician and/or OB/GYN. There’s no such thing as stupid questions for first time mom’s in a physician’s office.