Little Miss Independent

Dear Isis,

You are changing and growing so much lately! In the last few months, you have grown 3+ inches and you've grown even more than that if I measured attitude and personality in inches and pounds! You are so like me and your daddy. Independent, feisty, opinionated, but also sweet, sensitive and caring. You are apprehensive at first around new people, choosing to sit back and wait before joining in on the fun. This is more me than your dad. You're developing such a little attitude about things. You have opinions now on what thing you wear and what things you want to do. You are becoming more and more independent as each day goes on.

We recently had to let you cry again at night because we had let you get into a routine over the holidays (due to all our life changes) of crying at night and us coming in to comfort you. When it got up to about 4-6 times a night, we decided we needed to do something. We let you cry without coming in one night. It only took one night this time, but I still wanted you to know my heart here. I want you to know that above many things, your dad and I have paid extra attention to being intentional with you. One way we've done this is with trying to help develop your independence. As you get older, your independence will look different. Right now, it's going to sleep in your own room & being able to put yourself back to sleep as well as being able to go to the sitter or be with your grandparent's without us. It's playing on your own for a little while each day. Later, it will be choosing your own clothes and picking up your own room. It will grow and change as you do. One day you'll bathe yourself and do your own chores. Finally, you will make decisions about your life without us. You will move out and move on and become an adult. We hope to be introducing things to you now that help you to develop on this path to independence in a healthy way.

When we get to that point when you're a teenager and you're needing to make some decisions on your own, you may need to remind me, "Mom, you helped me become independent on purpose. Let me make these choices on my own." And I'll probably laugh, maybe need a minute to think about it, but ultimately yes. I'm building towards that on purpose. Your dad and I had a whole conversation today about how to intentionally affirm and model certain behaviors for you so that you set high expectations for yourself so that when you begin making decisions about boys, or later men, in your life, that you are making wise, independent decisions there as well.

I pray daily for wise choices in your life. I pray for the person you are now and the person you will become. I pray for wisdom and for grace. I pray that you look at the world with a servant's heart. I pray that you will never treat others as less than yourself. I pray that you will be honest and sincere, a woman of integrity. A woman of peace. I pray that by teaching you moment by moment to be independent and someone who can think for herself and behave in a way that is in line with what she knows to be Truth, will help you to make these wise choices and will help you to become that woman who can one day be proud to say that her parents intentionally helped her to become who she is. I already am so proud of you.

Love,
Mom

You are describing "unity"

(Pic from Adriel's post)

I read the book The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky when I was in high school and at the time it really resonated with me because of just where I was and who I was and what was going on in my life at the time. I haven't read it in years, but I doubt it would have the same effect anymore because I'm not the same person anymore. Interesting how perspective changes... That being said, there was a quote in it that I have always remembered and it reminds me of why I read blogs...especially this week. I'll explain.

"And all the books you’ve read have been read by other people. And all the songs you’ve loved have been heard by other people. And that girl that’s pretty to you is pretty to other people. And you know that if you looked at these facts when you were happy, you would feel great because you are describing “unity”."

I feel like blogging has always been this to me. A place where I read someone else's thoughts or stories or life experiences and I find myself thinking "you too??" and for a moment, I feel connected to a stranger in a way I sometimes don't feel connected to people in real life. Because not everyone in real life is pouring out those stories or thoughts or life experiences because honestly life is messy and who wants to share all their junk with other people? Especially not face to face when they could laugh or be mean or worse than both of those, be apathetic or uninterested.

I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve and share too much and be honest about the junk in my life because with everything I've been through, it just doesn't make much sense to hide the junk because it's made me who I am and it allows me to be real and sincere and authentic with people.

So, short story way too long, I read 2 awesome blog posts this week that you must read. Both of them brought me to tears. Hopefully you will also feel connected because of them.

Marriage. - Stay Forever Sunday

Hello Judah: A Birth Story - The Mommyhood Memos

2 Year Old

I cannot believe she is 2 years old already!!

General Stats: Weight - 27 lbs, Height - 34.25 inches

Movement: This girl is obviously on the move. She runs, jumps, climbs the stairs, walks down the stairs when she's holding our hand and obviously walks everywhere. We're having some issues keeping her in the stroller or shopping cart sometimes. She just wants to walk, but she can't quite keep up, so on a quick shopping trip it can be difficult.

Food: She still eats pretty much everything. She's started trying to resist vegetables lately, but we can usually get her to eat some at dinner. She loves peanut butter & jelly sandwiches or pretty much anything with peanut butter. She loves to dip things. She dips chicken in A1 or honey mustard or ketchup. Most things if she's not wanting to eat it, we can offer something to dip it in & she'll start eating it. She's eaten some really weird stuff dipped in A1. She also likes spicy foods! It's the strangest thing! She loves salsa, even homemade salsa with jalapenos! We went to Chuy's the other day and she even ate their creamy jalapeno dip! She loves potato soup & tortilla soup & turkey sandwiches with mustard. Her favorite fruit is bananas & her favorite vegetable is broccoli.

Teeth: This really isn't a big topic for 2 years old, but seeing how I missed her 18 month post, I think it's important to say that she now has all her teeth and I guess all we have left are those 2 year molars! We're also wanting to take her to the dentist soon. Lewis is a major healthy teeth fanatic, so he's been ready since the appearance of tooth #1!

Talking: Wow this girl has erupted with conversation! Over Christmas break I noticed a major change! She's been putting words together for a while now, but it's still really fun when she comes out with a sentence. The other day I hit my arm on the cabinet in the kitchen & as I was going "ow ow ow" I hear her in the living room go, "What happened, Mama?" It was so cute & the first time that she really expressed interest in reacting to something like that in a sentence. She says "thank you" to anyone who gives her anything. We've also taught her to say "I'm sorry" before she gets up from time out. Now she says "I'm sorry" any time that she bumps into anyone or anything. I definitely think we understand about half of what she says. The majority of the time she can pretty easily communicate with us through words, even if me & Lewis are the only ones who know what words she is saying. Haha no matter what, this is a super fun stage with the talking! My favorite is when she says "I love you!"

Sleep: She is still taking 1 nap a day and sleeping all night. She goes to bed around 7:30pm and wakes up around 7:00am. She naps from noon to 2 or so. The big milestone we've reached with the sleep is that she is now sleeping in a big girl bed!!! Lewis' parents gave us their queen size mattress and we put it on the floor in her bedroom. She slept in it for the first time the night before she turned 2! We are now 5 nights in & it's been incredibly successful! She sleeps well and she stays in her bed until you come get her in the morning. She hasn't napped in the big bed yet, but I'm hoping it'll be just as great!

Potty Training: She hasn't potty trained yet. She will go sometimes. It's not consistent at all yet. She will tell us right after she's gone, though. That's good. She has peed on the potty a lot of times, but has yet to poop on it. We're just waiting for her to instigate this right now. I feel like she is still early with this, so I'm not worried about it.

Discipline: This is the newest category that I feel like I need to add to these updates. We started doing time out around 21 months. I started doing it because she was hitting and I felt like that was a concrete thing she could do that would result in her being put in time out. I didn't do it for just whining or something more abstract where she wouldn't exactly understand why she was being put in time out. Now that it's been a few months, we can do time out for anything and she gets it. It usually takes just threatening time out once and she will change her behavior. (I never threaten more than once - I just put her in time out after the first threat if she continues whatever it is.) I also have been using positive and negative reinforcement. Positive reinforcement being that I praise her or reward her for behaviors she is doing that I want her to do. Negative reinforcement being that I take away something she wants immediately when she does a behavior I don't want her to do. For example, she has a little animal blanket that she has with her the majority of the time as a lovey. If we are out & she is fussing, I will immediately take the blanket away until she stops. I usually say "No fussing, okay?" and when she says "Okay" and stops fussing, I give it back. That lovey has been incredibly useful as a reinforcement tool!! We are trying to focus on being intentional and consistent. That's pretty much our parenting mantra in everything.

Milestones: She uses the pronoun "me" even though she doesn't exactly use it correctly. She usually says "to me" for everything. She will say "eat to me" when she wants you to feed her. She says "bath to me" when she wants you to take her upstairs for a bath. It's really funny actually, but she does get that she's telling you something she wants you to do for her. She is constantly asking "what is that?" And she can count to 10 with help. Usually you can go back and forth with her doing every other number and she knows them all to 10. You can start at 1 or get her to start at 1 and she will do it either way. She always will say "1, 2, 3" or "8, 9, 10." She knows the color orange. I'm not sure why that one stuck out over the others, but it's the only color she references right now. She mimics everything! She was watching tv the other day and they were making funny faces and she made her own funny face. She makes a sad face if you ask her to and then will make a happy face. Her personality and sense of humor is really starting to come out. She'll try to scare you and sneak up on you and she will pretend to be sad and then all of a sudden burst out with this big smile to try to get you to laugh. She love love loves to sing! She sings Twinkle Twinkle, You Are My Sunshine, Head & Shoulders, Jesus Loves Me, Itsy Bitsy Spider & the ABC's. It's probably my favorite thing right now when she sings. She also says prayers with you before a meal and before bed. It's really cute. She will bow her head and then say "amen" when you're done. She got her first haircut at the beginning of December! She differentiates between hot and cold. She has to blow on anything that is hot. She tells you to "shhh" all the time, especially if you're talking during one of the Yo Gabba Gabba episodes she's allowed to watch during the day. She can watch 1 on a week day and 2 on a weekend.

She is just really fun & I am loving this stage!!! Every stage really is better than the one before!

Looking Back on 2011

2011 has been quite a year for my family. I slacked a little in the blogging, but mainly because there was so much going on! I love the New Year because it always makes me want to take time to look back & reflect on a year passed & then to look forward to possibility for the next year.

January

Isis turned 1 and we celebrated with a birthday party! I reflected on what it meant to me to be a mother and what I was learning from the experience. We also put our townhouse up for sale in January!

 

February

I found out in February that a bunch of my friends were pregnant! Isis took her first steps! I got a little frustrated that things had not yet regulated after having Isis. And I shared 10 of my Favorite Things!

March

Isis dropped to 1 nap a day! I shared some of her favorite books and some of her technology milestones at 14 months. I also shared why I think my choice to be a teacher was great for me as a mom and also great to my future students because I am a mom!

April

Isis was 15 months & it made me stop and think about how important it is to live for today.

May

My blogging really slacked this month, but my main focus was on encouraging those dads who really step up, but still tend to be overlooked in our society. I chose not to overlook them!

June

Isis took her first swim in a pool!! And I discovered Pinterest, which definitely changed my life.

July

We went to the lake!

August

I set up my classroom for my first real teacher job & then right before school started, I had the honor of being there for the birth of my best friend's 3rd baby! Amazing. I also turned 27, but I didn't write about that.

September

I feel like I just got really reflective this month, especially after reading Jen Hatmaker's blog about adoption. Then 9/11 was really meaningful, too.

October

Isis started throwing major tantrums & we started having to also do time-out.

November

We bought our second house, but our first real adult house! The house where we will raise our family! 

December

I didn't post at all in December, but a lot happened. I finished the first half of my first year of teaching. I also finished my first cycle of KTIP, which if you aren't from Kentucky, is the internship program you have to do your first year. It can be pretty intense just with paperwork and observations and portfolios, so having 1 of 3 cycles, also the longest cycle, under my belt felt pretty great! We moved into our new house on December 16. We absolutely love it! I can't wait to take pictures of everything & share it with everyone! Isis has just burst out of her shell in ways we didn't even expect. All of a sudden her interactions with us and her conversation and the amount we could understand of what she was saying just increased rapidly. She also had a growth spurt, leaving her at 33 inches tall, which is great for her! I found out a close friend of mine is pregnant with her 2nd child, so that's always exciting! We also hosted Christmas at our house for the first time with all sides of the family! I am so excited about what 2012 will bring and so happy for everything 2011 brought us!

I hope your New Year is wonderful!!

We're Moving!

We bought a house!!

Well, we're under contract for a house. We close on December 16, just in time for Christmas! I feel like things are moving fast in my life and I'm excited! School is going great! I absolutely love my job, my school, the teachers I'm working with, all the people working with me on my KTIP intern year, everything! I just feel like things are finally getting into a good flow. So, we decided it was time to buy another house! Since it'll be time for baby #2 in the near future, we knew we needed more room and with the market being what it is and mortgage rates being what they are, we just decided to go for it! 

We found a beautiful house that is perfect for us and for our ultimately complete family! 4 bedrooms, a 5th bonus room with a big closet! 2.5 bathrooms, beautiful kitchen, dining room so we can entertain or host holidays at our house, LOTS of closet space! It has a backyard that even comes with a wooden play set with a slide!! Imagine the excitement on Isis' face when she saw that slide in our backyard! We're through the inspections, so everything is good to go! We also have a wonderful renter for our townhouse!

But suddenly I find myself more emotional than I ever thought I would be about leaving our current house. Our cute little townhouse has been perfect for us the last 4 years! It was the first house we ever purchased. It was where we put up our first Christmas tree. It was where we brought Isis home from the hospital. It is where Isis learned to crawl and walk and dance and jump! Isis had her first Christmas here. I've laughed here and cried here. I've loved it and I've hated it at times. But it's been mine, it's been ours. I keep finding myself going back to Stay Forever Sunday and thinking of her tagline..."We loved here." I wish I could somehow leave my mark forever on this house to just say "I was here. We were here. There are so many memories here."

I also think about this new house. It has everything we need to raise our family there. The bedrooms are huge! Big enough for teenagers. We will raise three children in that house (hopefully). We will have Christmases and birthdays and anniversaries there. Our kids can play in the backyard! (We don't have a backyard in our townhouse.) I will laugh there and love there, too. It made me emotional when I first walked into the house. We knew immediately it was ours. I could picture where the Christmas tree would go and where I would set up the birthday cake for parties. I could see the cribs in the rooms as we add more babies to the family. I could see Isis playing with her siblings and I could see us taking walks down the street, going to the park around the corner! I'm excited about possibility, about growth.

I guess, just like any new chapter in our lives, it's tough to say goodbye to where I've been, but I'm excited about where we are about to go!

Expect more pictures when we move in!!

Tantrum Time!

(In a non-tantrum moment)

We've reached that stage. Tantrum stage. What a hot mess.

She's wonderful at the babysitter. The babysitter always comments on how laid-back and calm Isis is.

She's wonderful around other people. If she's entertained or playing, she's just a perfect angel.

But get her at home, with mom & dad, when something happens that she doesn't like or doesn't want, this crazy little monster erupts from my child. She'll scream & cry & throw herself back on the floor! She hits things or one of us. She pitches an absolute fit! 

I've been talking to people & reading about ways to handle this. We have chosen the "no" and ignore route. I say "no fussing" really firm and ask her to "use her words." Sometimes she just needs help and she knows how to say "help." Sometimes she wants something, so I tell her the word and try to get her to do the sign language for "please" or try to get her to point. But if she continues the fit, I ignore and walk away. What's really funny is sometimes she follows me around crying and I just go about my business, pretending she's not there. As soon as she stops crying, I turn around, really happy and smiley and go "well there's my sweet girl!" and we figure out what she needs by pointing or with words. 

It seems to be working pretty well so far. Her fits are very short if I do that. I'm trying not to give any attention if she continues a fit. The thing that gets frustrating is when she'll have several short ones in a row, like last night. I ended up walking away or ignoring her half the night. I know we can factor in being tired and keep in mind the fact that Lewis and I don't cater to her every desire when she's home and wants something. We play with her & laugh & play games & all kinds of things, but we also need to clean up the kitchen after dinner and I need to do laundry and she needs to know how to play by herself sometimes.

I guess I just needed to share. As well as ask for tips or advice or just hear any great stories you have of your children throwing tantrums! Last night I texted my friend Diana because I just needed someone to say "oh you're not alone in that." Anybody else have trouble with a tantrum stage right before or around 2 years old? I'm assuming someone has because they don't call it the Terrible Two's for nothing. I just feel like it's hit my house a couple months early. I look forward to when she can articulate more. Right now I feel like her limited vocabulary (which is getting larger every day - we're at about 40 words consistently right now) is making it frustrating for all of us. She has stuff to say but she can't use the words that we understand to say it to us. Fun.

Remember 9/11

I was 17 on September 11, 2001. I was a Senior in high school and we were in this multi-purpose kind of room getting our pictures taken so that they could have visual class seating charts. The woman taking our picture got a phone call from her husband and she said they thought there was an explosion at the World Trade Center in New York. When I got back to my World Civics class right after that, they already had the news on the TV. I watched with lots of questions. I didn't fully understand what this meant and none of us were sure yet what had happened. 

As I walked between my World Civ class and my English class for the next period, the second plane struck the second tower. I missed it because I was in the hallway. I heard a lot of commotion and ran in to see the second tower billowing smoke. I still had lots of questions, a tiny bit more understanding and suddenly lots of fear. This was intentional. Was America under attack? When we heard the Pentagon had been hit as well, everyone started asking if the White House was next. I was still just confused and scared.

It wasn't until later that it hit me what this meant on a personal and individual level for the people who were in the World Trade Center, the Pentagon and the airplanes. My thoughts went to the grand scale first and then trickled down to the personal, intimate scale. The complete devastation of losing that many people in one day, the idea of losing firemen and police officers who ran in as others were running out, the moms who lost children, the children who lost parents, the friends who lost friends. It's unbelievable.

It's something that has taken on new meaning as I became a mom and have gone through these last almost 2 years as a mom. 9/11 was scary. What's going on with our economy is scary. The future for my children seems to be so scary. We all want to bring our children into a safe world where they can live and grow and flourish. 9/11 at first could make you think that we are bringing children into an unsafe world, but for me, looking back on it, I feel the opposite.

I feel that we live in a country where, when things get really hard, we band together. We fight. We don't accept our circumstances. We push our way out. We have firemen, police officers, military, all who will run in as others are running out. We have people who will stand up and fight for safety, for freedom, for stability and prosperity. Today I remember those people who we lost on 9/11. I pray for their families, because I know that while some have forgotten their loss or at least forgotten the sting of it, those loved ones still live with it everyday. I also say thank you again, year after year, to those who chose to enter the destruction to save those they could.

I believe in America. I hope that this anniversary of 9/11 reminds us how blessed we are to be here. And that even in the midst of difficulty, we will rise up.

I Needed These Words

Sometimes people share something & it just fits in whatever place you are in your life right now. My friend Queeny at The Planet Pink shared this post by Jen Hatmaker called After the Airport. On the surface, it's about adoption, but beneath the surface, it's about struggling or being broken. It's a long post, but it really is worth it. I've shared the last paragraph below, because it's the part that I haven't been able to get out of my head since I read it. I've reread the post at least 3 times now. If you're interested at all, read the whole post, not just this last paragraph.

Jen Hatmaker: After the Airport

"Oh let us be a community who loves each other well. Because someone is always struggling through the "after the airport" phase, when the chords of human kindness become a lifeline of salvation. Let us watch for the struggling members of our tribe, faking it through sarcasm or self-deprecation or a cheerfully false report. May we refuse to let someone get swallowed up in isolation, drowning in grief or difficulties that seem too heavy to let anyone else carry. Let's live this big, beautiful Life together, rescuing each other from the brink and exposing the unending compassion of our Jesus who called us to this high level of community; past the romantic beginnings, through the messy and mundane middles, and all the way to the depths."

New Baby!!

I have mentioned my best friend Diana several times now on this blog. She's a big deal in my life. I don't know what I would do without her. So it was a really big deal when she finally had her THIRD baby girl early Sunday morning! I was so blessed to be a part of that experience for her! She texted me right before 2am to tell me that she thought she was in labor & that I needed to come to their house. We all immediately left for the hospital right after I got there & she had the baby at 4am!

She wanted to have a natural birth like I did with Isis and she did it!! I'm telling you, she is a warrior and it was absolutely amazing because it was the first time I've ever been in the room for a birth that wasn't my own. I must say, women are amazing. I don't care how you give birth or by what means the baby ends up here, women are still just flat out amazing and to say any different would be crazy.

I am so proud of her and so excited for this new stage in her life and the life of her family! Three girls!! What fun!!

Diana & Penelope Iris!

We'll call her Penny!

My Classroom

Ah, friends. It's time. School starts on Wednesday. I have worked all summer preparing my room, going to trainings to prepare my mind, studying up again on classroom procedures, assessments, engagement activities, morning meeting, reading workshop, the new common core standards, etc. It's been quite a ride! As many of you following along know, I went back to school to be a teacher and am now about to start my very first year in my own 4th grade classroom! What a fun time! I am nervous and anxious, but I also feel very prepared and just ready for this journey! We had open house tonight and I met most of my students and their parents and I just believe it is going to be a wonderful year! Here are some pics of my classroom!

Empty classroom, ready to be given that special touch!

Phase one of the setup - arrange the desks, do the bulletin board & bring in the book boxes!

Reading & Computer areas at the beginning of the summer.

Teacher desk & small group table. Notice my fabulous curtains my mom made!

Reading area - a little more set up! Love the tree!!

Ready for Open House!!

Open House View from the door!

Don't you wish you were in 4th grade again??